Family Communication Advice Information

Sep. 07, 2010

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Talking to Your Parents

I go to a private catholic school. All of my friends are white and I have always talked like them. When I get home people pick on me and tease me and call me white girl, but I am black. What do I do?

My mom thinks that I have nothing to stress or worry about. I am 16 years old and I feel like I have a lot to worry about, such as friends, grades, school, even my own parents! Every time I try to tell her that I have stress too, she doesn't seem to care or believe me. It’s unfair, what can I do?

I’m 15 and my mom wants me to start birth control. I told her I wanted to wait to have sex and have birth control in the future. She won't listen. What should I do?

I am 13 and I have a sister who is almost 10. She is constantly putting me down, saying I am ugly, fat and stupid. I can't stand it any more. She says things like, “I know how to manipulate you. Remember how I get inside your head.” I am so sick of my sister and every second of my life I have had thoughts about torturing and murdering her. I hate her, and everyone in my family says I will love her when I get older. I just don't know what to do. What can I do?

I don't get any affection from anyone. My parents try to hug me, but I was abused by them in the past and cannot let them touch me. I feel like I desperately need affection from a female adult, but I don't know who to go to. There are a few teachers who I really like, but I’m not very close to them, and feel like they would think it was weird if I asked them for a hug. I feel so alone all the time and can't stop thinking about this. What’s going on?

I think I’m becoming bulimic. I have been binging and purging for a while now. I'm very scared of the consequences, but I can't stop. I'm so obsessed with my looks. I think I'm fat and I really want boys to like me. I'm too scared to talk to my mom about it, I'm afraid about her reactions and her being disappointed in me. I don't know if I’m really bulimic, I don't know what I would have to do to qualify as bulimic, but I do know I have been doing this non-stop. I'm 14 years old.

I'm a 13-year-old female. My parents fight all the time and my mom tells me I am the reason they fight. I've tried talking to my dad but he seems uninterested. I've thought about suicide or even running away. What should I do?

My parents found out that one of my friends (before I knew her) did drugs. Now, they won’t let me spend time with any of my friends. What can I do?

My parents are divorced and I live with my dad. I haven’t started my period and sometimes my vagina itches and bleeds a little. I don’t feel comfortable talking to my dad about this. What can I do?

My mom and I fight every time we go shopping together. She can't understand why I want certain brands of clothes and shoes and tells me to have a mind of my own. Why doesn't she understand how important it is for me to have stuff I want?

I met this guy over AIM (aol instant messenger). I think I like him. Is it OK to meet him?

I’m 16 and I feel like I truly hate my mom. I know a lot of teenagers say it when they're mad, but even when she’s being nice to me I feel like I really don’t like her. She is making my life miserable. She drives me crazy because she judges people before she knows them. What should I do?

My best friend was just diagnosed as being clinically depressed. Her dad died in November. Her dad was everything to her and now she rebelling against her mother and two younger brothers. She spends a lot of time at my house crying. What can I do to help?

I'm a 14-year-old male. My dad seems to hate me. I don't know why. I always do what he tells me to, I get good grades and I’m in sports. What am I doing wrong? Why does he hate me?

I am a 13-year-old girl and my mom accuses me of having sex and being known as a slut. These aren’t true. I’m also being sexually harassed by the boys in my school, but I’m afraid to tell her. Should I tell her? I’m planning on running away because I can’t live with her anymore. Is this the right thing to do?

My parents have decided to go and get a divorce. They want my sister and me to go to counseling with them. It's not my problem, why do I have to go?

I’m a 16-year-old female and I think my mother is emotionally abusing me. She interrupts me when I'm speaking, whenever I'm around her I feel small, she doesn't trust me, she's never been a friend to me, and she's strict and narrow minded. I don't live with her now, but she is still a part of my life – a part I want to get rid of forever. Could you tell me what emotional abuse is and do you think she's worth my time?

My mother seems like a very normal person to everyone else, but when we get home she is abusive and cruel. What is wrong with her? What is wrong with me that she must be so violent to me?

I’ve been having problems with my parents. They always expect me to do things better even though if I'm the best student, it seems like they don't care. When I show them my grades, they're not surprised because they know I'm going to have a good grade anyway. It really hurts me to see them that way. I cry most of the time. I feel like no matter how much I try, it never seems to be enough. What should I tell them and what should I do?

I'm 14 female. I have a small circle of friends, but am a loner most of the day. I stay in my room a lot because I'm not a very social person. My mom wants me to go out more. She also wants me to have a birthday party, but I'm not really one who throws parties. I've tried telling her I don't want to change and this is the way I am, but she doesn’t listen. How can I make her listen and accept me the way I am?

I have a lot questions about sex and I talked to my mom about it. She told my dad everything we discussed. He said I was obsessed with sex, but he's the one downloading pictures. Now I’m afraid to talk to my mom about sex. What should I do?

How can I get away from my parents when they are smoking without being rude?

I’m 13 and my mom makes me wear dumb stuff to school. Either my pants are too small or I’m wearing blue socks. Even worse, she walks me to school. I only live 8 blocks away from school and it’s really embarrassing. I’ve asked her to stop but she says I’m too young. What should I do?

My father died a month ago and I had an erection the other day for no reason. I'm afraid something is wrong, but I'm afraid to talk to my mother about it. How can I feel more comfortable talking to my mother about these things?

I have been diagnosed with anorexia. I am a little confused why my mom is ignoring me. When I was first diagnosed she was supportive, but now it’s like she is mad at me. Why is she doing this? I want to tell my therapist, but my mom will deny everything. What can I do?

I’m a 15-year-old male and I have a problem with my dad. He is usually gone for days because of his job. When he comes home he is in a great mood but then after about an hour he gets really mean and starts to take all his anger out on me. When this happens, the rest of the week goes bad for me. I don’t know what his problem is. I have talked to my mom and older sister about it but they couldn’t help me. Can you help me please?

My parents are always pressuring me to work really hard, and I do because I am at the top of the class. They won’t let me go out with my friends because they think I will let my school work fail. They won’t listen to me. What can I do? I feel like running away or committing suicide.

I am a 13-year-old girl. My mom walked in on me while I was masturbating. She didn’t say anything, but what should I say to her?

My mom does drugs and half of the time she’s out of it and we don’t hear from her for days. When I talk to her about this she tells me I’m selfish. I have to watch out for my 13-year-old sister because she thinks our mom doesn’t love her anymore. What can I do to make us be a family again?

I am 17 years old, and I have a really big problem when it comes to talking about how I feel. It's even hard for me to open up with my counselor who I have known for more than six years. Is there anything I can do?

Lately I have been feeling very alone and worthless. There have been a lot of different things going on in my life, such as my best friend’s dad’s death, my boyfriend of 9 months breaking up with me, and the reminder that comes every year of my grandmother’s death and of my attempt to commit suicide. Although I’m not considering suicide, I wish there was a way to make the pain go away. I usually have trouble sleeping at night or concentrating at school. Do you have any suggestions?

I’m 13 and when I was 6 or 7 my brother, who is now 20, use to do things sexually to me. I think my mom suspected because she would ask me, and told me if it was happening that it wasn’t my fault and I wouldn’t be in trouble. I never told, but now I want to tell her. My brother has a girlfriend and two children, a girl and a boy. I’m scared for his daughter because I don’t want this to happen to her. I don’t know if my mom will believe me. What should I do?

My father does not trust my sister or me (I’m 15 and she’s 16). Whenever we go out he grills us about everything. He even threatened us once to have our virginity tested because we went to the movies. Its ruined our relationship with him. What can I do to get him to calm down?

My older brother may be doing drugs. Will my parents hate me for bringing them this news?

My parents got divorced about six years ago. They got back together about two years ago. Before the divorce I had a great relationship with my dad, but now I can’t stand him! What happened with our relationship?

I’m a 13-year-old girl. My dad used to hit me, but not anymore. He is also an alcoholic and smokes a lot, which caused problems with my asthma. I have tried talking to my mom but she just gets mad. I’ve thought about running away. What can I do?

I’m 15 years old. My dad was married to another women when he got my mom pregnant. He stayed for five years and then left. I feel like I was a mistake. Is it wrong to dislike your father?

I’m almost 15 and have been thinking about participating in the foreign exchange program. At first my parents were supportive, but now my mom is saying things like, “what will it be next week.” I’m not feeling support in my decision from all sides, should I just call it quits?

Is it normal to avoid your family during holidays and birthdays? I’d rather be alone doing other stuff like listening to music, TV and reading.

I think I might have a temper. Everytime my 16-year-old brother bothers me and irratates me with his mean taunts. I tell him to just go away, but he still bugs me and that just makes me more angry, and I loose my temper and yell at him really loud and sometimes I punch him really hard, but not in the delicate areas. He just shrugs it off and laughs at me. And sometimes I just cry and I feel like I just want to physically hurt him really badly, or maybe even lynch him. What should I do? My mom doesn't do anything about this situation.

I have a dad who adopted me, but I am also interested in meeting my biological father. My mother always avoids the subject when I mention it to her. How can I find out who he is?

We lost our house in a fire and my family was injured and burned. I’m now living with my grandparents. I feel so lost. Everything I had was in the house – my art, my stories, my awards and most importantly, my dog. I should have gone back for him, but for some reason I didn’t. He was a big part of my life. I really miss him and feel horrible for not rescuing him from the fire. I want to talk to my family about how I feel, but I can’t. What should I do?

My parents have been divorced since 1999. Before my mom and I moved out, my dad and I didn't have the best relationship, but we talked. Ever since they separated, it's like he divorced me too. He intentionally does things to hurt my feelings. I feel like he doesn't care enough to try to work things out. What should I do?

I am a 15-year-old boy. I live with my dad and stepmother and we just can't seem to "click.” Sometimes things seem so awkward. I want to be closer with my stepmother but how do I do that?

My parents have split up because of things my dad did. My mother is taking our family to counseling. During the first session, the counselor asked me confronting questions about what happened with my dad and made my cry. Is this normal counseling behavior? I thought it was supposed to help, but after the session I felt sick and dirty. I don't know if I should go back.

My parents have been separated since I was 6. I live with my mom and sometimes my dad gets angry/jealous and asks questions, like why I don’t live with him. It makes me feel uncomfortable, but I love him and don’t want to hurt his feelings. What should I do?

I'm a 14-year-old girl. My mother died a few months ago. I think I’m over it, but I’m not sure. If I feel bad, I cut myself. One of my teachers (who I trust) found out so I have to hide my arms now because I don’t want to talk about it. I'm always tired and don’t enjoy anything like I used to. If my family found out what I’m doing, I would kill myself. I hate them and they hate me. What should I do?

My mom has been very ill with cancer for the past four years. I am trying to be strong for her, but it gets too hard sometimes. I cry every night at the thought of losing her. I know she’s not going to leave me yet, but it hurts to see her in pain. What can I do to be stronger for my mom?

I'm 13 years old in the eighth grade. My parents are divorced. I’m worried about my mom because her boyfriend hits her. I am not there half of the year. What should I do?

I'm 16 years old and my 15-year-old cousin/best friend was killed in a car accident about a week ago. I easily become angry and frustrated. I take my frustration out on my boyfriend sometimes. He says I'm changing, but it seems as if he is not giving me enough space. I really don't know what to do because she was always here to tell me. What’s going on?

I am 14. My parents are divorced and my grandfather has died. He was the one that really loved me and now I feel rejected. I tried to get close to my grandma, but she doesn't understand girls and I don't think she likes me. My parents don't even look at me when I talk to them. I give up on everyone!

I heard that if you work at night you have a better chance of having a heart attack. Is this true? My dad usually works the night shift?

When I was 3 my dad left and I don’t have any information about him. I ask my mom questions and she always says she doesn’t remember. I feel like my mom is keeping something awful from me! I cry everyday because I feel like I’m not good enough for her. I’m not good at talking with counselors because no one has ever listened to me and I feel uncomfortable. I use to plan my suicide. I feel like I have nothing to live for. I feel like I have no future because my older brother is my mom’s pride! Am I messed up?

I’m 14 years old. When I was 5, my half-cousin babysitter would, make me touch him. I know that when he was doing this to me, he was going through a stage in his life where he was experimenting with alcohol and drugs. He has cleaned up now, married and has a good job. I feel comfortable around him now. Was he sexually abusing me? How serious is what he did and what should I do?

I just found out from my boyfriend that my mom is dating this one kid's dad. The bad thing is, my mom is still married! She has five kids and I don't see how she could do this. What should I do?

My dad always pressures me about schoolwork. He yells at me if I get a “B” or lower. I’ve tried to talk to him, but it never works. I feel stressed and I’m only 12 years old. What should I do?

My parents were divorced when I was 6. I still live with the dream that both my mother and father will get back together! Unfortunately, my father recently re-married. When they told me, I hated the idea and I fought and argued with the bride-to-be, which made all of our lives miserable. How does the pain go away, how does the dream go away?

My mom wants my sister and me to move to Arizona so she can be with her boyfriend. We live in California right now and that is where all our family lives. My friends have always been there for me when my mom wasn't. How can I convince my mom I don’t want to move?

My parents won’t let me date until I’m 16. I’m 14 now. I went out with a guy for two months, and my parents wouldn’t even let me go out with him with a group of friends. What can I tell my parents that will help them understand that it’s OK to go out with a group of friends?

I've been going with this boy that is in my school. I've been with him for about a month. I just told my mother about our relationship the other day. Her response was, “you don't go with nobody.” I'm confused on how she feels about this. Please explain to me why she said this to me.

I’m 15, and I just got a few bad grades. I’m scared to tell anyone (like my parents) and my parents are expecting better than what I am doing. I’m confused and very nervous. What do I do, I’ve been working hard, but I feel like I’m lost with some of the assignments.

I'm only 11 and my parents don't trust me. My mom thinks I'm having sex and my dad won't let me go over my friends' houses because he is thinks I'll run off with some boy. I've lied to my parents about having boyfriends many times. I know I'm too young for sex, but I just want to talk to boys. I'm really resonsible and all I want is a little freedom. What should I do?

I have so many things going on socially in my life, my family is bugging me about everything and on I have to worry about schoolwork. It’s really frustrating and sometimes I take it out on my little sisters (I have to baby-sit every weekend). I feel like the whole world is against me. How can you help me?

When I was younger my father used to hit me and I reported him after confiding in a school guidance counselor. I went to therapy for it, but I’ve also been under a lot of stress and I even slashed my wrists. Now I feel like I want to be locked in a closet and not come out ever. Many times a week I have nightmares about killing myself or running away. Some days I’m really depressed and other days I am extremely happy and in a fantastic mood. What the heck is wrong with me?

My dad does not come home until Fridays. I love it when he is gone, because when he gets home he complains all the time. He always complains that my sister and I never do anything, but when he is home all he does is watch television. Why does he get so mad at us when he never does anything himself?

My mom and dad are divorced. My mom asked me to stay with her. What should I do now? I want to stay with her, but I'm afraid my dad will angry with me. My brother said I must discuss this problem with my father. What do I tell my dad ?

My parents give me allowance, but only when I help around the house. I seem to be very lazy lately. How can I push myself to do more stuff?

I like self-inflicting pain, it's the only thing that makes me feel better. Recently I scratched my nose really hard with a fork until it bled, but it eventually stop. I have tried a lot of things to ease the pain I have, but this is the only thing that works! What should I do?

My mom and dad won't let me sleep at my boyfriend’s house. They also won't let me go away with him. I'm 18 and I have to be in at 11 p.m. They are always telling me what to do and they won't let me try anything. I need help. I want them off my back and fast.

I'm 17 1/2-years-old. Do I have any legal right to refuse medical treatment that my parents believe I should undergo?

My parents are divorced and my dad is getting married. I don’t want him to because now I know he and my mom will never get back together again. What should I do?

I recently changed schools and nothing is going right. I lost all my friends and I have no one to talk to. I feel ugly and fat and have lost almost all of my appetite. My mom gets upset with me when she sees that I am sad. I've thought about suicide and even took pills one day when I was home alone. I need a change. Please help.

I'm 17 and have a part-time job. My mother says I can't work more than 20 hours a week during the school year. My boss wants me to work more. She's unfair.

What do you do when your parents get on you for trying to do your best instead of encouraging you?

I want to go out for the football team but my mom won’t let me. She says football is too dangerous and that lots of kids get permanently damaged playing high school sports. How can I convince her to let me play?

My dad caught me smoking a plain old cigarette. I'm grounded forever. I can't see my friends and I have to mow the lawn all summer. My brother doesn't even have to help. Why is he so upset? It isn't fair.

I'm 13 and am arguing a lot with my mother because she won't let me date. I think I'm old enough, I get good grades, and don't get into trouble. All of my girl friends can date. It just isn't fair. How can I convince her to change her mind?

I'm 13 and my mother says my room looks like the city dump. We constantly get into fights about it. What should I do?

I'm African-American, 15 years old and weigh too much. My mother and grandfather have diabetes. Should I worry about having diabetes and should I be tested?

There’s this girl I would really like to take to the movies but that means one of my parents will have to drive us. How can I ask her for a date and then tell her my mom is driving us there?

Last Saturday afternoon my friends and I were planning to go to the movies and then spend the night together. Just as I was getting ready, my dad reminded me that it was my aunt’s birthday and my whole family was going out to dinner. We got in a big fight about it. What could have I done to not get into the fight with my dad?

I am a 13 year old boy and I want to get my ear pierced. My parents think this means I’m gay. Boy are they wrong. What should I do?

Last week my best friend was involved in an automobile accident. She was charged with driving under the influence. I don’t drink but my parents keep acting like they think I do. Should I do anything?

I suspect that my 15-year-old sister is drinking alcohol. What's the best way to approach her on this? I am 13.

I am a 12-year-old boy and am going through puberty. It looks like I am growing breasts. It is embarrassing. Is there any kind of treatment to make them go away?

My grandparents live in the same city as we do and therefore frequently see us. The problem is that they are very bigoted people. Fortunately, my dad and mom are not like that but things my grandparents say are having a negative effect on me and my brother. Any suggestions?

Why do I always seem to be so discouraged?

I want a larger allowance but my parents won't raise it. What's normal?

My parents are driving me crazy with rules. It seems like I can't do anything without some rule attached to it or without breaking some rule. How can I make them loosen up?

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